Hey guys. Decided to make a new blog. Still using blogspot. Since this blog skin im using cannot comment on my posts and cannot suscribe. so yeah.

my new link : http://scoldersaintmything.blogspot.com/
relink me guys. thanks.

xoxo.

I actually posted this yesterday but I deleted it. And I have to post it again and re-type it all over again for some people who wants to read this stupid/embarrassing post. Lol.

So, this question has been in my head, "Can Christians actaully go clubbing?" Yes Jo. You told me before. I'm still thinking/wondering. It seems so wrong for Christians going clubbing. I mean like really. Imagine. One of your non-Christian friend caught you clubbing and they will be asking all sorts of nasty questions [well, not nasty questions lah]. For example, "I thought he worship leads in his church wan? How come can go clubbing wan?" etc. And they start looking down on us, Christians. Damn. That is VERY bad. From what I think lah.

Going clubbing once in a while for a birthday party is fine or watch an "awesome" band performing in a club is fine. But, just a "few" cups and dancing...nah, not a good idea. Seeing some of my church members went [not going to mention any names. AND PLEASE do not get offended] clubbing, just scared the hell out of me. I feel so weird. Freaked out. Disgusted. I don't know why. That you got to ask God why I feel that way lah. (: heh heh heh. Do you think I will ever go clubbing? hmmm. Konon. :p

Yesterday my bro ask me if he go clubbing for ONCE what will I do? I answered "I'll hate you forever and probably won't talk to you." :D I just hate seeing Christians going clubbing. Sorry lah. But then if you guys wanna continue go clubbing, go ahead. I don't mind [I think]. I mean its not against the law or God din't say cannot mah kan. Mmhmm. I understand. (: andddd guess what. I saw 2 of my church members in the "KK band width" magazine[Im not sure how you spell that mag though]. They were in a club. And when Sheila showed me that, I was like wth. You got to be joking me man. Then Sheila said "HAHAHA. GO SHOW TO YOUR PASTOR LAH." I was like "uh, no thanks. They will hate me for that you know." Gawd. Can't believe it man. Damn. Dang. What the heck is wrong? Eeeeesh. God bless you guys man.

And I pray that I won't get any comments/response on this. *crosses fingers*

xoxo.

Black Eyed Peas latest single called "I got a feeling" is awesome. Those who love clubbing. This song is dedicated to you. *lmao*


I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x4)

Tonight’s the night night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Let’s spend it up

Go out and smash it
like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Let’s get get OFF

I know that we’ll have a ball
if we get down
and go out
and just loose it all

I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
and loosing all control

Fill up my cup
Mozoltov
Look at her dancing
just take it off

Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Let’s burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again

Lets Do it (x3)and live it up

i gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x2)

Tonight’s the night
let’s live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up

Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF

Fill up my cup (Drank)
Mozolotov (Lahyme)
Look at her dancing (Move it Move it)
Just take it off

Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Lets burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again

lets do it (x3)
let’s live it up

Here we come
here we gowe gotta rock

Easy come
easy go
now we on top

Feel the shot
body rock
Rock it don’t stop

Round and round
up and down
around the clock

-end-

Went to watch 17 again with the youth just now at 1Borneo. Damn, it was good and awesome. (: should watch. I'll rate it 7 over 10. Not bad not bad. (: actually, I was underage but oh well. Heh heh heh.

After movie, went for supper. Asked Jo to come. Manatau, went clubbing with Peter. I was like speechless. And Jo did joined us for supper. Suprised eh. Hmm. You know what guys? I wish that I could just press the rewind button. I seriously hate the way I acted during supper. I was super emo JUST because they din't talk to me. I was like man. What the hell is wrong with me? I was just asking God why etc. I was walking around Lintas. I felt like breaking down.
I was scared that I will turned to be the old Maxine back. I was REALLY scared. I told myself. "Maxine, dudette, you just gotta move forward man. So what if they don't talk to you? Its not like you're gonna die. God loves you. Remember that. PLEASE don't go backwards." I kept telling myself that.

*sighs* after supper, went home. Bro drove. I was just shaking my head in the car[no, I'm not a mental kid] and I was disappointed. My bro kept on asking what is wrong me and I just said nothing. I felt like telling him but decided no. I wanted to cry but I told myself, "stay strong." As I'm writing this, I am finally crying. Yay? Not so sure. I don't know man. I'm just totally wondering whether am I gonna be the old Maxine back after hols. Its like I'm slowly getting back to my old life. I JUST HATE IT.

Dad,
Please. I pray that You'll give me the strength to pull through. I don't want to be emo etc. God, help me. I'm really stuck.

I was listening to Planetshakers "Rain Down." And I broke down and cried. Gahhhhhh. Help anyone?

"Rain down on me. Here in yr presence i am free. Pour down like rain. Come and touch me again. Lord,let yr presence fall on me. ): sweet annointing, wash me over."

I pray that God will answer my prayer. I hope He heard me. I hope that He knows that I need help. Life..

sighs.

xoxo.

Got tagged by Jo-Hanna. <3


WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: ehhhh. some lime juice.
2. Last phone call: Gosh, uh. Christabel. So lama this. Last month again.
3. Last text message: Christabel. <3
4. Last song you listened to: Danny Gokey&Kris Allen duet.
5. Last time you cried: yesterday while talking to Daddyyyyyyy God.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: never dated. So yeah.
7. Been cheated on: no I guess.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it:never kiss anyone in my life. (:
9. Lost someone special: no?
10. Been depressed: Yeap.
11. Been drunk and threw up: I never got drunk. Thank God. (:

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.Black
13. Red
14.White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yeah. LOTS.
16. Fallen out of love: Eh. Nooooooooo.
17. Laughed until you cried: of course. I love doing that. :D
18. Met someone who changed you: Of course! <3
19. Found out who your true friends were: yeahhhhhh.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: uhhhh. Don't remember.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: through smses. :D
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Eh. Don't know. all? lol.
23. How many kids do you want?: no idea.
24. Do you have any pets: tada. But used to have fighting fish lah.
25. Do you want to change your name: nah. I love my name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: I celebrated on the 6th of Nov cause wanna celebrate before Kristal leaves KK. Well, just eat dinner at Little Italy with churchmates and after that, went warisan for starbucks. My actual birthday, nothing. Graduation night. -.-
27. What time did you wake up today: about 8-ish?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleepinggggg.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I cant wait to see the youths and the leaders!<3
30. Last time you saw your Mother: few mins ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: stop being easily pissed.
32. What are you listening to right now : the sound of the fan and typing sound.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing
35. Most visited webpages : facebook, twitter, my blog.
36. Whats your real name: Maxine Desiree Goh May Syn[panjangnya :p]
37. Nicknames: Max, Maxis, Kalefe, Miniskirt, Desiree, Maximitchi, Tomato head/face. etc
38. Relationship Status: single. Hallelujah!
39. Zodiac sign: .....
40. Male or female?: female
41. Primary School?: SRS Datuk Simon Fung
42. Secondary School?: S.M. Tshung Tsin Sabah [pfft]
43. High school/college?: Still young. Longgggg way to go. :p
44. Hair colour: black with tiny bit of brown. Hilang suda bah the brown. ):
45. Long or short: short
46. Height: Don't know. Surely taller than Jo and Bel. (:
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: nope.
48: What do you like about yourself?: eh. me being tall? LOL.
49. Piercings: No thanks.
50. Tattoos: Nahhhhh.
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Nope. None. My body perfect. Thank God for that. (:
53. First piercing: none.
54. First best friend: God. (:
55. First sport you joined: Basketball. WOOOOOTS!
56. First vacation: Hah. None. :p
58. First pair of trainers: tada.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: finish this
62. Listening to: same as the last listening to question
63. Waiting on: Saturday

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids?: dont know.
65. Get Married?: God's choice.
66. Career?: dream job : eh. Don't know.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: both
68. Hugs or kisses: kisses
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: depends
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both
73. Sensitive or loud: loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: NO. You nuts?
77. Drank hard liquor: too young.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: my eyes are perfect as usual. Heh heh heh. Don't be jealous. :p
79. Sex on first date: ? you sot.
80. Broken someone's heart: sighs. Of course.
82. Been arrested: nope. Me good girl.
83. Turned someone down: yeah.
84. Cried when someone died: nope.
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeah? lol.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yeah?
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: nope
89. Heaven: of course
90. Santa Claus: pfft.
91. Kiss on the first date: eeek. yes? no? dont know.
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today?: Yeah
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: hmmm. yeah? dont know
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: uhhhh. I need time to think.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: November 9th. wait. No. I don't know! Too many!
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Lol! No.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yeah.[number 81 is missing.]

Done!(:

I tag everyone who read this post. :p

xoxo.

Just spoke to Daddy.
Broke down till my eyes and face was REALLY red.

I was just asking God why am I an attenion seeker?
Why am I a person that gets pissed so easily?
And some more questions.

I felt that I've cause tons of headache's to the youths and leaders.
I felt that I've gave them tons of stress and MORE stress.
And damn.
I just feel so terrible when Jo told me that I get so easily pissed.
Really terrible.
I was like man..that is so true.
People are looking down at[or izit on?:/] me.
I've got to change dude/dudettes.
I need YOU to help me.
Give me some advices.

I don't want the youth and leaders pretend to love me which they don't.
I need to feel their love for me.
I don't know why!
This has been stuck in my head.
I hate this feeling seriously.
I wrote a note in FB.
I tagged Iks, Bella, Crystal, Denise and the youth leaders and Kristal in that note,
and I felt weird tagging them.
Why did I tagged them?
Maybe I need them to know what am I facing in life.

Gosh,
I seriously want to move forward.
Sick of the way that I'm living right now.

Guys,
I'm only 12.
Turning 13 this year, November.
I don't know a lot of things yet.
Whatever I did that hurt you guys or whatsoever,
I'm really sorry.
I'm not perfect.
I'm sure you know that.
I'm learning.
Slowlyyyyy learning.
I still have a LONGGGGG way to go.
You don't expect me to know everything about life.
I am who I am.
I'm easily pissed thats because I'm like that.
I know I have to change that habit.
I've annoyed you guys so much.
I'm really sorry guys!
You guys just have to face with it for now.
AND.
I'm really working on it.

Please!
Do keep me in your prayers.
I uh.
Can't do this on my own.
Hope you guys understand what am I trying to say here.
I seriously hate people telling me off things.
But, what to do?
They hate my attitude.
I have to change.

So yeah.

And you know what?
I never knew that there's a lot of people out there cares about me.
You guys are amazing.
Sharon[No, not Sharon Tang or Sharon Chia] sent me a msg in FB.
And,
man.
Thanks for sharing Sharon.
Here's what she said.
There are some parts I don't really get it.
But still reading it over and over again to understand it.
So yeah.
Baca it people.
And if you understand what she wrote,
PLEASE.
Email me, text me, call me, msn me, FB me, twitt me or whatever lah!
Haha.
Thanks.

"maxine... sometimes people pretend to be God to other people, because they themselves too have unresolvable, almost disgusting things they don't like about themselves. we who become the object of their attacks have to forgive them...you know your own weaknesses, and that's heart breaking enough already. nobody needs to feel it twice just because somebody else can't hold their tongue.the fact that God hasn't zapped anyone of us into ashes because we said fuck and got extrememely angry tells us more about God than any pastors can tell us about him.God does not live in the words people say, Maxine. God lives in your heart. if anything, he already knows.maxine, i don't want to preach to you. i hope you know that i don't hate you being a person who can get pissed easily. i don't hate the tongue that swears.. at all. But to the one who's scolding maxine from inside her head, i hope you don't hate those too.. she is just herself, and with all my heart i believe she's good."

So yeah.
Thats about it.
Thanks guys for taking your time reading this post.
Love you guys.
Take care and God bless you.

xoxo.

People,
I was just chatting with my classmate.
A girl.
Now, I want you read the convo between her and me.
This is really killing me.
There may be parts that I did wrong.
But you know what?
I said sorry.
She dosen't cares.
I'm fine with it.
I did a stupid mistake.
Why did I reply?
I know right.
Readdddd.


Sheila:
GOH MAY SYN
Maxine Desiree:
Sheila:
good.
replying fast eh
i got a haircut
Sheila just sent you a nudge.
Sheila:
oi!!!!!!!!!!
Sheila:
wth wake up you mother.....
Sheila just sent you a nudge.
Maxine Desiree:
YOU THINK I DONT KNOW
and pls.
what mother?
Sheila:
how you know??
Maxine Desiree:
who you calling mother?
duh.
yr sis told me she cut her hair
Sheila:
who say?that's her >_>
Maxine Desiree:
HELLO
TWINS
FOR GOD'S SAKE
Sheila:
wtf
Maxine Desiree:
dont wtf me.
Sheila:
-.-
Maxine Desiree:
i had enough of swearing
Sheila:
LOL
Maxine Desiree:
so pls.
Sheila:
since when you changed so much
rofl
Maxine Desiree:
dudette,this isnt funny
its ok laugh all you want
Sheila:
wth sia
Maxine Desiree:
im moving forward in my life.
Sheila:
you sendiri changed so much ffs lmao?tiba tiba
Maxine Desiree:
you moving backward
i dont care.
have a life dudette.
Sheila:
dude
Sheila:
since when did i say that i'm moving backwards?
plus
lol, rofl, lmao doesn't means that i'm laughing ok
EMO sia

since when did i say that i'm moving backwards?
*plus
*lol, rofl, lmao doesn't means that i'm laughing ok =.=
*EMO sia
Maxine Desiree says:
*wth. you wrote rofl means rolling on floor LAUGHING.
*If youre not laughing then...dudette, what did you eat?
*anyways
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*auntie.....
Maxine Desiree says:
*i had enough
*and dont auntie auntie me.
*PLEASE
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the hell are you
*wtf
*who the heck are you now?
*trying to become 2 person at a time?
Maxine Desiree says:
*its ok.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri there moving foward to your life
*stupid man you
Maxine Desiree says:
*whatever youre saying abt me
*its ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*last time used to be like "hahahhaha very funny" and stuff
Maxine Desiree says:
*Im happy with my life.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*man you're weird
*like i care
*i don't even want to know about your life
Maxine Desiree says:
*i never said you care
*whatever it is.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*in exams who ask you didn't revise?
Maxine Desiree says:
*God bless you man.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the hell lah
Maxine Desiree says:
*there's a season where i can be funny
*there's a season where i can be serious.
*dudette.
*chill and relax
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the heck man
*you suddenly talk like that and stuff
*with idiot full stops
Maxine Desiree says:
*idk lah.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri emo emo there
*cut your wrists ETC
*wth...
Maxine Desiree says:
*is this what you call emo
*ok yes
*i admit that i cut my wrists
*my youth leaders knows abt it
*i ask God for forgiveness
*that is why Im giving up on swearing
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*lmao?
Maxine Desiree says:
*thats why i gave up on cutting my wrist
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*well you did it first
*not god's fault
Maxine Desiree says:
*so?
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you did it for fun man
Maxine Desiree says:
*i never's said its God's fault
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*just because of your loved ones you go do it ffs
Maxine Desiree says:
*what loved ones
*i dont abt you.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*KC.
*you did a heart
Maxine Desiree says:
*WTH
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*i don't even know about you more man
*you are so damn weird
Maxine Desiree says:
*i dint do because of him
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*na
Maxine Desiree says:
*hello
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri swear now?
*see it for yourself omg
*then
Maxine Desiree says:
*wth
*is not swearing
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*why did you carved a heart on your arms?
*AH
*you said wth is not swearing
*LOL, LMAO, ROFL is not laughing too
*it can be more
Maxine Desiree says:
*i dont know lah
*its ok
*i still love you as a friend
*whatever it is
*that were fighting
*let it be
*its the past.
*im not emo
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*WTF
Maxine Desiree says:
*i just wanna live a better life
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*i didn't even say that i'm fighting
Maxine Desiree says:
*ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*it's just that i'm mad that you're changing
Maxine Desiree says:
*sorry my bad
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*like suddenly omfg
Maxine Desiree says:
*yeah im changing
*in a good way
*im sick of my past
*im sick of what i did wrong
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*YEAH YEAH
*you're changing
*but it doesn't mean that you have to be so "STRAIGHT- FOWARD"
*with full stops sia?
Maxine Desiree says:
*i want to be straight
*thats nothing wrong
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*yeah
Maxine Desiree says:
*izit?
*izit against the law?
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*but sometimes PEOPLE doesn't like STRAIGHT
Maxine Desiree says:
*does it hurts you?
*dudette,
*i dont read yr mind
*im not some super special person
*that can read yr mind
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*na na
*see
Maxine Desiree says:
*and knows everybody's feelings
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*STRAIGHT MAN
*then how ABOUT me?
*when you cry, feeling down and cut your wrists time
*WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU THE MOST?
*you answer it for yourself in your heart man
Maxine Desiree says:
*whatever it is that i did wrong
*im sorry
*okay?
*im sorry?
*if you dont want to forgive
*thats its ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*whatever then
*suits you
*EVERYTHING suits you
*i don't care from now on

-end-
I decided to not reply. Its not that I don't know what to reply.
My mum told me to don't reply
Pissed.
I believe the things that I said in that convo are my bad.
Sorry.
I'm still learning.
God, help me.
Walk with me in this journey.
I love you Daddy.

xoxo.