Hey guys. Decided to make a new blog. Still using blogspot. Since this blog skin im using cannot comment on my posts and cannot suscribe. so yeah.

my new link : http://scoldersaintmything.blogspot.com/
relink me guys. thanks.

xoxo.

I actually posted this yesterday but I deleted it. And I have to post it again and re-type it all over again for some people who wants to read this stupid/embarrassing post. Lol.

So, this question has been in my head, "Can Christians actaully go clubbing?" Yes Jo. You told me before. I'm still thinking/wondering. It seems so wrong for Christians going clubbing. I mean like really. Imagine. One of your non-Christian friend caught you clubbing and they will be asking all sorts of nasty questions [well, not nasty questions lah]. For example, "I thought he worship leads in his church wan? How come can go clubbing wan?" etc. And they start looking down on us, Christians. Damn. That is VERY bad. From what I think lah.

Going clubbing once in a while for a birthday party is fine or watch an "awesome" band performing in a club is fine. But, just a "few" cups and dancing...nah, not a good idea. Seeing some of my church members went [not going to mention any names. AND PLEASE do not get offended] clubbing, just scared the hell out of me. I feel so weird. Freaked out. Disgusted. I don't know why. That you got to ask God why I feel that way lah. (: heh heh heh. Do you think I will ever go clubbing? hmmm. Konon. :p

Yesterday my bro ask me if he go clubbing for ONCE what will I do? I answered "I'll hate you forever and probably won't talk to you." :D I just hate seeing Christians going clubbing. Sorry lah. But then if you guys wanna continue go clubbing, go ahead. I don't mind [I think]. I mean its not against the law or God din't say cannot mah kan. Mmhmm. I understand. (: andddd guess what. I saw 2 of my church members in the "KK band width" magazine[Im not sure how you spell that mag though]. They were in a club. And when Sheila showed me that, I was like wth. You got to be joking me man. Then Sheila said "HAHAHA. GO SHOW TO YOUR PASTOR LAH." I was like "uh, no thanks. They will hate me for that you know." Gawd. Can't believe it man. Damn. Dang. What the heck is wrong? Eeeeesh. God bless you guys man.

And I pray that I won't get any comments/response on this. *crosses fingers*

xoxo.

Black Eyed Peas latest single called "I got a feeling" is awesome. Those who love clubbing. This song is dedicated to you. *lmao*


I gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x4)

Tonight’s the night night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Let’s spend it up

Go out and smash it
like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Let’s get get OFF

I know that we’ll have a ball
if we get down
and go out
and just loose it all

I feel stressed out
I wanna let it go
Lets go way out spaced out
and loosing all control

Fill up my cup
Mozoltov
Look at her dancing
just take it off

Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Let’s burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again

Lets Do it (x3)and live it up

i gotta feeling that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good night
that tonight’s gonna be a good good night (x2)

Tonight’s the night
let’s live it up
I got my money
Lets spend it up

Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Lets get get OFF

Fill up my cup (Drank)
Mozolotov (Lahyme)
Look at her dancing (Move it Move it)
Just take it off

Lets paint the town
We’ll shut it down
Lets burn the roof
and then we’ll do it again

lets do it (x3)
let’s live it up

Here we come
here we gowe gotta rock

Easy come
easy go
now we on top

Feel the shot
body rock
Rock it don’t stop

Round and round
up and down
around the clock

-end-

Went to watch 17 again with the youth just now at 1Borneo. Damn, it was good and awesome. (: should watch. I'll rate it 7 over 10. Not bad not bad. (: actually, I was underage but oh well. Heh heh heh.

After movie, went for supper. Asked Jo to come. Manatau, went clubbing with Peter. I was like speechless. And Jo did joined us for supper. Suprised eh. Hmm. You know what guys? I wish that I could just press the rewind button. I seriously hate the way I acted during supper. I was super emo JUST because they din't talk to me. I was like man. What the hell is wrong with me? I was just asking God why etc. I was walking around Lintas. I felt like breaking down.
I was scared that I will turned to be the old Maxine back. I was REALLY scared. I told myself. "Maxine, dudette, you just gotta move forward man. So what if they don't talk to you? Its not like you're gonna die. God loves you. Remember that. PLEASE don't go backwards." I kept telling myself that.

*sighs* after supper, went home. Bro drove. I was just shaking my head in the car[no, I'm not a mental kid] and I was disappointed. My bro kept on asking what is wrong me and I just said nothing. I felt like telling him but decided no. I wanted to cry but I told myself, "stay strong." As I'm writing this, I am finally crying. Yay? Not so sure. I don't know man. I'm just totally wondering whether am I gonna be the old Maxine back after hols. Its like I'm slowly getting back to my old life. I JUST HATE IT.

Dad,
Please. I pray that You'll give me the strength to pull through. I don't want to be emo etc. God, help me. I'm really stuck.

I was listening to Planetshakers "Rain Down." And I broke down and cried. Gahhhhhh. Help anyone?

"Rain down on me. Here in yr presence i am free. Pour down like rain. Come and touch me again. Lord,let yr presence fall on me. ): sweet annointing, wash me over."

I pray that God will answer my prayer. I hope He heard me. I hope that He knows that I need help. Life..

sighs.

xoxo.

Got tagged by Jo-Hanna. <3


WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: ehhhh. some lime juice.
2. Last phone call: Gosh, uh. Christabel. So lama this. Last month again.
3. Last text message: Christabel. <3
4. Last song you listened to: Danny Gokey&Kris Allen duet.
5. Last time you cried: yesterday while talking to Daddyyyyyyy God.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: never dated. So yeah.
7. Been cheated on: no I guess.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it:never kiss anyone in my life. (:
9. Lost someone special: no?
10. Been depressed: Yeap.
11. Been drunk and threw up: I never got drunk. Thank God. (:

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12.Black
13. Red
14.White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: Yeah. LOTS.
16. Fallen out of love: Eh. Nooooooooo.
17. Laughed until you cried: of course. I love doing that. :D
18. Met someone who changed you: Of course! <3
19. Found out who your true friends were: yeahhhhhh.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: uhhhh. Don't remember.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: through smses. :D
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: Eh. Don't know. all? lol.
23. How many kids do you want?: no idea.
24. Do you have any pets: tada. But used to have fighting fish lah.
25. Do you want to change your name: nah. I love my name.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: I celebrated on the 6th of Nov cause wanna celebrate before Kristal leaves KK. Well, just eat dinner at Little Italy with churchmates and after that, went warisan for starbucks. My actual birthday, nothing. Graduation night. -.-
27. What time did you wake up today: about 8-ish?
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleepinggggg.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I cant wait to see the youths and the leaders!<3
30. Last time you saw your Mother: few mins ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: stop being easily pissed.
32. What are you listening to right now : the sound of the fan and typing sound.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: nothing
35. Most visited webpages : facebook, twitter, my blog.
36. Whats your real name: Maxine Desiree Goh May Syn[panjangnya :p]
37. Nicknames: Max, Maxis, Kalefe, Miniskirt, Desiree, Maximitchi, Tomato head/face. etc
38. Relationship Status: single. Hallelujah!
39. Zodiac sign: .....
40. Male or female?: female
41. Primary School?: SRS Datuk Simon Fung
42. Secondary School?: S.M. Tshung Tsin Sabah [pfft]
43. High school/college?: Still young. Longgggg way to go. :p
44. Hair colour: black with tiny bit of brown. Hilang suda bah the brown. ):
45. Long or short: short
46. Height: Don't know. Surely taller than Jo and Bel. (:
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: nope.
48: What do you like about yourself?: eh. me being tall? LOL.
49. Piercings: No thanks.
50. Tattoos: Nahhhhh.
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: Nope. None. My body perfect. Thank God for that. (:
53. First piercing: none.
54. First best friend: God. (:
55. First sport you joined: Basketball. WOOOOOTS!
56. First vacation: Hah. None. :p
58. First pair of trainers: tada.

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. I'm about to: finish this
62. Listening to: same as the last listening to question
63. Waiting on: Saturday

YOUR FUTURE:
64. Want kids?: dont know.
65. Get Married?: God's choice.
66. Career?: dream job : eh. Don't know.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: both
68. Hugs or kisses: kisses
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: depends
71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both
73. Sensitive or loud: loud
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: neither

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: NO. You nuts?
77. Drank hard liquor: too young.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: my eyes are perfect as usual. Heh heh heh. Don't be jealous. :p
79. Sex on first date: ? you sot.
80. Broken someone's heart: sighs. Of course.
82. Been arrested: nope. Me good girl.
83. Turned someone down: yeah.
84. Cried when someone died: nope.
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeah? lol.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: yeah?
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: nope
89. Heaven: of course
90. Santa Claus: pfft.
91. Kiss on the first date: eeek. yes? no? dont know.
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope
95. Did you sing today?: Yeah
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: hmmm. yeah? dont know
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: uhhhh. I need time to think.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?: November 9th. wait. No. I don't know! Too many!
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Lol! No.
100. Posting this as 100 truths?: yeah.[number 81 is missing.]

Done!(:

I tag everyone who read this post. :p

xoxo.

Just spoke to Daddy.
Broke down till my eyes and face was REALLY red.

I was just asking God why am I an attenion seeker?
Why am I a person that gets pissed so easily?
And some more questions.

I felt that I've cause tons of headache's to the youths and leaders.
I felt that I've gave them tons of stress and MORE stress.
And damn.
I just feel so terrible when Jo told me that I get so easily pissed.
Really terrible.
I was like man..that is so true.
People are looking down at[or izit on?:/] me.
I've got to change dude/dudettes.
I need YOU to help me.
Give me some advices.

I don't want the youth and leaders pretend to love me which they don't.
I need to feel their love for me.
I don't know why!
This has been stuck in my head.
I hate this feeling seriously.
I wrote a note in FB.
I tagged Iks, Bella, Crystal, Denise and the youth leaders and Kristal in that note,
and I felt weird tagging them.
Why did I tagged them?
Maybe I need them to know what am I facing in life.

Gosh,
I seriously want to move forward.
Sick of the way that I'm living right now.

Guys,
I'm only 12.
Turning 13 this year, November.
I don't know a lot of things yet.
Whatever I did that hurt you guys or whatsoever,
I'm really sorry.
I'm not perfect.
I'm sure you know that.
I'm learning.
Slowlyyyyy learning.
I still have a LONGGGGG way to go.
You don't expect me to know everything about life.
I am who I am.
I'm easily pissed thats because I'm like that.
I know I have to change that habit.
I've annoyed you guys so much.
I'm really sorry guys!
You guys just have to face with it for now.
AND.
I'm really working on it.

Please!
Do keep me in your prayers.
I uh.
Can't do this on my own.
Hope you guys understand what am I trying to say here.
I seriously hate people telling me off things.
But, what to do?
They hate my attitude.
I have to change.

So yeah.

And you know what?
I never knew that there's a lot of people out there cares about me.
You guys are amazing.
Sharon[No, not Sharon Tang or Sharon Chia] sent me a msg in FB.
And,
man.
Thanks for sharing Sharon.
Here's what she said.
There are some parts I don't really get it.
But still reading it over and over again to understand it.
So yeah.
Baca it people.
And if you understand what she wrote,
PLEASE.
Email me, text me, call me, msn me, FB me, twitt me or whatever lah!
Haha.
Thanks.

"maxine... sometimes people pretend to be God to other people, because they themselves too have unresolvable, almost disgusting things they don't like about themselves. we who become the object of their attacks have to forgive them...you know your own weaknesses, and that's heart breaking enough already. nobody needs to feel it twice just because somebody else can't hold their tongue.the fact that God hasn't zapped anyone of us into ashes because we said fuck and got extrememely angry tells us more about God than any pastors can tell us about him.God does not live in the words people say, Maxine. God lives in your heart. if anything, he already knows.maxine, i don't want to preach to you. i hope you know that i don't hate you being a person who can get pissed easily. i don't hate the tongue that swears.. at all. But to the one who's scolding maxine from inside her head, i hope you don't hate those too.. she is just herself, and with all my heart i believe she's good."

So yeah.
Thats about it.
Thanks guys for taking your time reading this post.
Love you guys.
Take care and God bless you.

xoxo.

People,
I was just chatting with my classmate.
A girl.
Now, I want you read the convo between her and me.
This is really killing me.
There may be parts that I did wrong.
But you know what?
I said sorry.
She dosen't cares.
I'm fine with it.
I did a stupid mistake.
Why did I reply?
I know right.
Readdddd.


Sheila:
GOH MAY SYN
Maxine Desiree:
Sheila:
good.
replying fast eh
i got a haircut
Sheila just sent you a nudge.
Sheila:
oi!!!!!!!!!!
Sheila:
wth wake up you mother.....
Sheila just sent you a nudge.
Maxine Desiree:
YOU THINK I DONT KNOW
and pls.
what mother?
Sheila:
how you know??
Maxine Desiree:
who you calling mother?
duh.
yr sis told me she cut her hair
Sheila:
who say?that's her >_>
Maxine Desiree:
HELLO
TWINS
FOR GOD'S SAKE
Sheila:
wtf
Maxine Desiree:
dont wtf me.
Sheila:
-.-
Maxine Desiree:
i had enough of swearing
Sheila:
LOL
Maxine Desiree:
so pls.
Sheila:
since when you changed so much
rofl
Maxine Desiree:
dudette,this isnt funny
its ok laugh all you want
Sheila:
wth sia
Maxine Desiree:
im moving forward in my life.
Sheila:
you sendiri changed so much ffs lmao?tiba tiba
Maxine Desiree:
you moving backward
i dont care.
have a life dudette.
Sheila:
dude
Sheila:
since when did i say that i'm moving backwards?
plus
lol, rofl, lmao doesn't means that i'm laughing ok
EMO sia

since when did i say that i'm moving backwards?
*plus
*lol, rofl, lmao doesn't means that i'm laughing ok =.=
*EMO sia
Maxine Desiree says:
*wth. you wrote rofl means rolling on floor LAUGHING.
*If youre not laughing then...dudette, what did you eat?
*anyways
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*auntie.....
Maxine Desiree says:
*i had enough
*and dont auntie auntie me.
*PLEASE
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the hell are you
*wtf
*who the heck are you now?
*trying to become 2 person at a time?
Maxine Desiree says:
*its ok.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri there moving foward to your life
*stupid man you
Maxine Desiree says:
*whatever youre saying abt me
*its ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*last time used to be like "hahahhaha very funny" and stuff
Maxine Desiree says:
*Im happy with my life.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*man you're weird
*like i care
*i don't even want to know about your life
Maxine Desiree says:
*i never said you care
*whatever it is.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*in exams who ask you didn't revise?
Maxine Desiree says:
*God bless you man.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the hell lah
Maxine Desiree says:
*there's a season where i can be funny
*there's a season where i can be serious.
*dudette.
*chill and relax
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*what the heck man
*you suddenly talk like that and stuff
*with idiot full stops
Maxine Desiree says:
*idk lah.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri emo emo there
*cut your wrists ETC
*wth...
Maxine Desiree says:
*is this what you call emo
*ok yes
*i admit that i cut my wrists
*my youth leaders knows abt it
*i ask God for forgiveness
*that is why Im giving up on swearing
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*lmao?
Maxine Desiree says:
*thats why i gave up on cutting my wrist
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*well you did it first
*not god's fault
Maxine Desiree says:
*so?
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you did it for fun man
Maxine Desiree says:
*i never's said its God's fault
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*just because of your loved ones you go do it ffs
Maxine Desiree says:
*what loved ones
*i dont abt you.
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*KC.
*you did a heart
Maxine Desiree says:
*WTH
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*i don't even know about you more man
*you are so damn weird
Maxine Desiree says:
*i dint do because of him
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*na
Maxine Desiree says:
*hello
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*you sendiri swear now?
*see it for yourself omg
*then
Maxine Desiree says:
*wth
*is not swearing
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*why did you carved a heart on your arms?
*AH
*you said wth is not swearing
*LOL, LMAO, ROFL is not laughing too
*it can be more
Maxine Desiree says:
*i dont know lah
*its ok
*i still love you as a friend
*whatever it is
*that were fighting
*let it be
*its the past.
*im not emo
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*WTF
Maxine Desiree says:
*i just wanna live a better life
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*i didn't even say that i'm fighting
Maxine Desiree says:
*ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*it's just that i'm mad that you're changing
Maxine Desiree says:
*sorry my bad
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*like suddenly omfg
Maxine Desiree says:
*yeah im changing
*in a good way
*im sick of my past
*im sick of what i did wrong
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*YEAH YEAH
*you're changing
*but it doesn't mean that you have to be so "STRAIGHT- FOWARD"
*with full stops sia?
Maxine Desiree says:
*i want to be straight
*thats nothing wrong
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*yeah
Maxine Desiree says:
*izit?
*izit against the law?
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*but sometimes PEOPLE doesn't like STRAIGHT
Maxine Desiree says:
*does it hurts you?
*dudette,
*i dont read yr mind
*im not some super special person
*that can read yr mind
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*na na
*see
Maxine Desiree says:
*and knows everybody's feelings
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*STRAIGHT MAN
*then how ABOUT me?
*when you cry, feeling down and cut your wrists time
*WHO UNDERSTANDS YOU THE MOST?
*you answer it for yourself in your heart man
Maxine Desiree says:
*whatever it is that i did wrong
*im sorry
*okay?
*im sorry?
*if you dont want to forgive
*thats its ok
- (R)`__SHELLsBells;; ` ::__<3 ` x_iSellSeaSHELLStoTheSeabears&&Seahorses. (: says:
*whatever then
*suits you
*EVERYTHING suits you
*i don't care from now on

-end-
I decided to not reply. Its not that I don't know what to reply.
My mum told me to don't reply
Pissed.
I believe the things that I said in that convo are my bad.
Sorry.
I'm still learning.
God, help me.
Walk with me in this journey.
I love you Daddy.

xoxo.

Dude and Dudettes!
Finally the music video for Battlefield is out!
Here's the video.
Enjoy!(:



Awesome ey?

xoxo.

Hey people.
I just got back from my youth camp with the youths and the leaders.
WOW.
I totally enjoyed my time!
Seriously.
Felt God’s presence.
God spoke to me last night.
Whoa.
God is totally awesome.

So, right now,
I’ll just share with you about what happened during the camp.
(:

The night before camp,
I can’t sleep.
I tried but I failed.[but I did slept like few hrs ltr. :p]
I was paranoid.
Why paranoid?
Good question.
I was paranoid because I kept on thinking who are my room mates.
I don’t know why.
I had a feeling that it was Jo and Christine.
And guess what?
I was right.
:D

To be honest, I wasn’t very happy with my roomies.
Only 1 of them.
Name will be left unmentioned. (:
The reason why I wasn’t very happy is because I knew that she was annoying [To be honest, I’m annoying too. I guess].
I’ve heard a lot from the WF camp leaders about her attitude during the WF camp.
When she told me that I am her room mate, I was speechless.
I felt like shouting and screaming.
But of course, I did not.
I felt like pulling off my hair [which I did not].
But after hours spending time with her, I felt actually comfortable.
Except the 1st night. She woke me up from my half an hour sleep.
But you know what?
God taught me not to be so choosy.
I’ve learnt my lesson.
After all, it wasn’t that bad.

Session 1, Ps. Sam talked about “Does God love me?”
I’m touched by that message.
Jeremiah 1: 4-5 says :
“Then the word of the Lord came to me saying:
“Before I formed you in the
womb I knew you;
Before you were born I
Sanctified you;
I ordained you a prophet to
The nations.””
And this is our problem:
“ Not that we don’t love God, but we don’t know how much God loves us.”
To me, this is very true.
Let me state two important points.
. If you don’t live by PRIORITY you will live by PRESSURE.
. If you don’t live by God’s DESTINY, you will live by the world’s DISTRACTIONS.
And if you’re asking yourself this question,
Whether does God loves you,
HE LOVES YOU.
(:
After the message, I respond to the altar call.
Ps. John, Ps. Sam and Ps. Sam’s son prayed for me.
I was crying and crying.
God touched my heart.

You know what?
I was really shocked that Ps. Sam’s son, Jeremy, actually prayed for me.
He’s 11.
He’s like Ps. Sam.
I’m just speechless.
Very.

After session, had discussion with my cell.
Only 4 people from my cell attended the camp.
Me, Bel, Yien and Christine.
We were discussing on what is 1 area we want to move forward in our life as a Christian that will affect others.
For me,
The 1 thing that I want to give up to move forward and let go or change is I want to give up on swearing/cursing. How many words do I swear each day? I swear about 20+ words per day. What am I going to do about it? I will GIVE UP swearing. I’ve been working on this since yesterday. And in fact, I haven’t been swearing at all since yesterday. I asked God to help me on this and He actually did. (: Glory to God.

After the discussions,
Went back to my room.
Guess what?
I DID NOT SLEEP AT ALL.
Tried and tried and tried but failed.
I was watching Jo and Christine sleeping.
That was plain boring.
Of course.
I was waiting for the sun to come out.
I rest at least.
I woke Jo up.
ACCIDENTLY.
;p

Finally it was 8 something in the morning, and they finally woke up.
Thank God.
Haha.

Oh yeah.
The hotel food was okay.
I’ll give it 50 50.
Oh and btw,
I just weight myself.
And I loss 3 kg.
Wth.
I think I know why.
I didn’t eat much during camp.
That’s why.
(:
HAHA.

2nd session, Ps. Sam spoke about “He bought you….Not your sin.”
Many of us thinks that God bought our sins.
And that is wrong.
He bought us.
I’ve learnt that I’m not an accident.
Titus 2:14 says “who gave Himself for us, that He might redeem us from every self His own special people, zealous for good works.”
Also, Revalation 5:9 says “ And they sang a new song, saying “You are worthy to take the scroll,
And to open its seals,
For You were slain,
God by Your blood
Out of every tribe and tongue
And people and nation.””
And also, 2 Corinthians 5:15 says “ and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again.”
Ps. Sam also shared with us about Revo Recess.
Ps. Sam shared with us some testimonies about Revo Recess in West Malaysia.
I was really amazed.
Ps. Sam challenged us to do Revo Recess in our schools.
I took that challenge.
Together with Jessica.
We pray that God will move Tshung Tsin. (:
Its time to lead our friends to know Him.
Its never too late.

After session,
As usual, had discussion with cell.
Only 10mins.
Then went back to room with Jo to change our clothes for games.

Man,
The games were awesome.
The 2nd game was something like Captain Ball.
BUT, We did not use a ball.
We used a CHICKEN.
Yes, a chicken.
It was fun.
And guess what?
My team won.
All glory to God.
:p

After games, went back room.
Me and Jo decided to go for a walk.
Went to the swimming pool place,
And of course,
I got pushed into the pool.
-.-
Since I was wet, I chilled in the pool with the youths.
Hah.
We pushed Jo into the pool.
Thanks to me, Kim and Adren. (:
My eyes were red after swimming.
Reallyyyyy red.
I couldn’t open my eyes at all.
Suffered that like after dinner.

Session 3, Ps. Sam preached about why the deer pants for waters.
[I guess]
He pointed out 3 points.
Sorry, I totally forgotten the 3 points.
I was sleepy.
Din't really paid attention when he pointed out the points.
I only paid REALLY attention when he shared some testimonies.
The testimonies really touched my heart.
One of it just explains the same as me.

I of course responded to the altar call.
I was really crying.
Thinking about what I did that made God disappointed.
I talked to Daddy and He spoke to me a few things.
He saved me cause He loves me.
He forgave me for doing that BIG sin.
And He also said that even people rejects me,
its ok.
God always accepts me and take me they way I am.
He'll never reject me.
Thats what I sense the Lord said to me.

After session,
my cell went to my room to discuss about it.
Bel asked me write about my breakthrough.
The questions are:
1. why did I respond to the altar call
2. how did I feel after the altar call
3. What did God said to me
4. What am I going to do about it

and before I write down the answers,
Bel also asked me to write what Ps. Sam said to me when he prayed for me.

So here it is.

Ps. Sam said that God dosen't want me to stop working on my dreams. I have to continue working on my dreams. God wants me to continue working on that BIG dream. And when Ps. Sam said that to me, I din't really understand why God said that. I was confused because what was that dream?

My breakthrough answers to that 4 questions.
"I went out and respond to that altar call is because I just want to stop committing suicide. I've started working on it since last last week. As in, stop cutting my wrist & think about dying. I felt calmed and happy because I believe that God loves me that He saved me from dying & I believe that God forgave me. And God don't never rejects me. He always accepts me the way I am. I'm going to stop thinking about dying because committing suicide dosen't come from God. And I'll continue to live a life that God wants me to live. A happy life."

So yeah.
After that, all of my cell members went back to their rooms.
And I slept.
I was sleeping peacefully [finally]but all of the sudden, I woke up.
I realised that Jo was missing.
Lol.
So got up from the bed and the door was not closed. -.-
The reason why I woke up beacasue the youths were running around the corridor.
And I WAS PISSED.
I got out from my room.
Banjo asked me what happened to me and I told him why.
I went looking for Jo and I heard people laughing so damn loud.
Guess what?
A big group of people were in a circle talking and laughing.
I was pissed.
Why?
Noisy.
I walked around and chilled.
I was freezing when I was out from my room.
My room was freezing cold.
I was like shivering.
And I sat near the staircase area.
Just to cool down and chill.
Jo saw me.
So of course she brought me back to the room.
And I terus sleep.
:p

I only slept about 4hrs.
Sien.

Session 4, Ps. Sam talked about Servanthood.
Genisis 24: 10 and Genisis 24: 22.
The message was quite short so yeah.

Ps. John asked a few of us to share about the camp.
I wanted but I was scared.

But I'll just type it here then. (:

Here it goes.

"So, I signed up for camp. I din't feel like signing up but I did. I was thinking about what if I have no one to talk to? etc. So, I attended the camp. Wow. Never expected the camp to be so awesome! God really touched my heart. He spoke to me a lot of things. I've had a breakthrough. I really felt God's presence. I really want to thank my room leader [Jo] for taking care of me through out the whole camp. Appreciate it lots. Also my cell leader and my cell. For walking together with me. I've decided to move FORWARD for God. There's a lot of reasons why.
I also want to thank Ps. Sam and his family. For blessing me a lot. (: I had a great time bonding with my friends. I just want to give all the glory to God. (: God is awesome. Oh, and also to all youth leaders, thanks for all your prayers. Thats about it. (: God bless. "

xoxo.

Okay.
Tomorrow is the camp.
Yay.
Excited?
Yeah.
Nervous?
Not anymore.
Prepared my heart?
Yeap.
Seek God yet?
About to. (:
Did shopping for camp?
YEAH.
Packed my bag?
Hah. Yeah. Did it on Wed. :p
Looking forward?
Same thing as excited bah kan. :D

Well,
its tomorrow!
Woooots!
I'm totally excited.
Prepared my heart.
What else?
Idk.
See you there to all Yo!Com and leaders.
(: (: (:
*screams*
God bless.

xoxo.

Don't try to explain your mind
I know what's happening here
One minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battle-field
One word turns into a

Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a shield
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)
Why does love always feel like...

Can't swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mhmm
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your...

We could pretend that we are friends tonight (oh-oh-oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright
Cause baby we don't have to fight
And I don't want this love to feel like...

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield,
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor...

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for (fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor

Why does love always feel like...
Why does love always feel like...
A battlefield, a battlefield...

I never meant
To start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

I never meant
To start a war
Don't even know
What we're fighting for

-End-

The promo of the music video for "Battlefield" is out.
http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/397960/battlefield-30-second-preview.jhtml

I loveeeee this pic to death. No idea why. :p
Eh Jo.
Remind me when you got the pics already ah. :p :p
Thanks.

xoxo.

So its a Tuesday.
Waiting patiently for Saturday.
Cause Saturday is the youth camp.

I've been reading Naruto[manga] on the net.
Why?
All because of you Jo. :p
BUT.
Whenever I read,
I have a headache.
Geeeeez.
I think God don't want me to read it.
:o
could be.
Whenever I read Mr.Midnight
or
Singapore True Ghost Stories,
I'll have a baddddddddd headache.
Now this.
Eeeessh.

Man,
Holidays so plain boring.
Tomorrow got Choral Speaking practise again!
Eeeee.
Lazy to go lah.
I want someone take me out.
But no one can.
Oh yeah Bella.
If the Sutera lunch thing is on,
let me know.
Just make sure its not on the Saturday. (:
I'm busy. Im not free.
I told you that anyways.

I watched Its a boy girl thing just now on StarMovie.
ITS AWESOME. (:
After that,I watched a malay movie on astro Ria.
I know right.
You think I won't watch malay movies?:p
I do.
Depends.
The main reason why I watch malay movies
or tv series is because I love it when they show
KL. :PPPP
Hahahaha.
No idea why.
But that malay movie I watched just now is gross.
Why?
First, a hottie turned into a tomboy
and that tomboy dated a hottie.
That tomboy's father and her were dating in that movie.
-.-
EW.
Stupidddddd.
Nothing to watch bah.

So, I'm so freaking bored now.
Reallyyyyyyyyy bored.
HELP.

Dudette,
I love your jacket. :p
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You know who you are. :p

xoxo.

Anti-social anti-social anti-social,
anti-social anti-social anti-social.
[and it continues all along..]

Why am I saying that?

That what?

That I'm anti-social.

D'oh.

What else?

The reason why is beacause..

A lot of people said that just now.

During Adren's party.

I was like..oh well.
Whatever lah.
And the thing that is REALLY
REALLY REALLY REALLY
so weird is..
almost all the youth is starting to call me
"Max."
And I never expected that in my whole damn life.
I mean.
I do expect my school friends to call me that but..
what?
Church friends? the youth? the leaders?
I know Ps.John calls me "Max."
Lama suda tu.
But its really weird.
Patrick and Banjo is the one.

I was totally like pissed off tadi.
Ain't gonna post up the whys.
Dude, my blog ain't private.
If I post it up,
and they read it,
its gonna be another
World War III I tell you.
So better be safe.
Peace ya'll.
Oh, and I felt like swearing right at
their face tadi.
But nah.
All the thoughts were in my head like
what if I swear to them?
Will Jo be like talking to me again?
Idk.
Don't bother.

I just wanna swear now but I can't.
Later some people go and advice me again.
Then some will say what kind of Chrisitan is this.
Or
"I thought Christians cannot swear wan?"
geez.

Things werent the same for me last night and today.
Esp *ahem*
Felt like rejected.
SORRY.
BUT ITS LIKE SO TRUE.
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
I guess.
But yeah, I know you read my blog often so yeah.
But seriously!
Its like "eh, is this really the youth that I know?"
or
"Is this really the leaders that I used to know?"
What happened to the "old" youth?
You'll be like "got old or new youth meh?"
Pfft.
TALK TO MY HAND.

I don't feel like going youth camp.
The reason why I signed up is because,
some humans will be like annoying me and asking me
to sign up.
So yeah.
The one thing that I fear the most is that I scared that my
roomates turns out to be bad.
AND...
NO ONE TO TALK TO.
OR HANG OUT WITH.
OR SIT WITH.
OR TO LAUGH WITH.
OR TO TALK WITH.
ETC.

THATS WHAT I FEAR THE MOST.
I WILL BE CRYING LIKE MAD IF IT HAPPENS.
SO GOD.
HELP K.