♥ Falling Slowly.
Sunday, May 24, 2009 -{'5/24/2009 04:16:00 PM

Today, I yawned like a infinity times during church. I saw Joseph Bae and his fam but din't talk to him. ): haha. I got ignored lots by the youths and a leader. REALLY LOTS. I said "hi," they ignored me. I asked for a high-5, ignored pun. Etc. So awesome kan the youth in my church. *Sighs* I just feel like not going youth this Sat. But trust me, I will. I memang like that. I say I don't want to go, then I'll change my mind pula. Geez. I told the reason why to Bel. Not Jo. Sorry Jo. Its hard for me to explain it to you. Bel shared with me some stuffs. And she made my day terus. (: aw. After church, I terus emo. Why? Its a secret ya'll! :p
Yesterday, youth was ok I guess. When the leaders and the youth was having the depth class and prayer, I was alone. Walking round and round the church. Din't join them. I broke down. The reason why is beacause I felt so lost. I felt that the youth hates me. Like what Bel told me through sms just now. She also felt the same as me before. You just feel so invisible. No one cares about you. You don't feel loved. You feel so ignored/rejected. That was what I felt last night while listening to Kris Allen's "Falling Slowly" over and over again. I was asking myself,"what the hell am I doing here?I wanna go home." and tears just kept coming out. Last night, it was like a free cell thing. My cell when to Sutera's seashells place. Din't feel like joining them. Then Bel told me they're going mcd for ice-cream so I terus join them. :p I was listening to the song "Falling Slowly" since morn till night. Then "my" phone died. Aw.
Here's the lyrics from the song "Falling Slowly."
I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along
-End-
My plan is to forgive & forget
Forgive myself for being stupid,
&forget you ever existed.
________________________
Sometimes when I say
"Oh, I'm fine"
I want someone
to look me in the
eyes & say
"tell the truth"
xoxo.